.png)
Building a Healthy Relationship with Exercise
- Kate Sweeney
- Jun 23
- 6 min read
by Kate Sweeney
Physical activity. Exercise. Sport. Active lifestyle.
These words mean so many different things to people. These words can denote a passion, an obligation, a job, a stressor, fun and more.
Movement is grey.
Movement is not black and white. It has pros and cons, trade offs and history.
It is complicated, just like food and eating.
For many of us, we can lose connection to the joy of simply being in our bodies that we may have had as kids.
Movement can become compulsive. Or we can become dependent on it.
This often starts early. Kids as young as 3-5 years old absorb messages that their bodies aren’t good enough and that they need to move to change them. Add to that social media’s relentless push that movement equals virtue — thinner, fitter, younger, better — and it’s easy to see how our relationships with movement get complicated.
What is exercise, physical activity and movement?
It is important to define these words so we understand what we’re discussing.
Exercise is: planned, structured and organized movement that is often aimed at a certain sport or performance goal. This goal can be recreational like being able to do a pull up at the gym or professional like winning a swimming race at the Olympics.
Physical activity is: movement of any kind. This can be taking a shower, gardening, vacuuming, walking to class, and more.
Movement encompasses both exercise and physical activity.
What is exercise dependence vs exercise compulsion?
Exercise dependence is when there are cognitive, behavioral and physical symptoms of an addiction.
These include signs like:
A tolerance to exercise that requires needing to increase the dose to get the same benefit
Withdrawal symptoms like being irritable, depressed or angry when not able to exercise
A large amount of time spent on exercise that reduces time on other things, impacting relationships, work, school and hobbies
Continuing to exercise even if one is injured, traveling or sick
Exercise is no longer fun
Exercise compulsion is when someone has urges to exercise and engages in the exercise to relieve distress. Exercise becomes an over-used coping strategy that persists for reasons of mood improvement or weight control and is done in a perfectionist, rigid way.
The key difference? Compulsion is about the emotional grip, not necessarily how intense or long the activity is. Twenty minutes of walking can be compulsive, but not intense, long in duration or particularly tiring.
For more about this topic, as well as how to interact with movement in a healthier way, I recommend listening to this podcast episode with my colleague, Matt Stranberg, an expert in sports performance, exercise and eating disorders.
Connection between Exercise and Eating Disorders
Studies show that 80% of people with anorexia and 40% with bulimia struggle with problematic exercise.
Those with both exercise compulsion and dependence often show higher levels of OCD, anxiety, perfectionism, body dissatisfaction, dietary restraint, and reward dependence.
Research suggests compulsive exercise is more strongly linked to disordered eating than exercise dependence.
In a 2020 study (Sharmer et al.), 235 mostly female college students completed validated questionnaires. Results showed compulsive exercise was significantly correlated with eating disorder symptoms, especially when driven by the desire to avoid negative emotions or control weight. Exercise dependence was not significantly linked.
A 2021 study (Kuikman et al.) of 899 athletes found that:
Co-occurring exercise dependence and disordered eating increased the risk of low energy availability (LEA).
Disordered eating risk was highest in recreational athletes and lowest at the international level.
Bottom line: Disordered eating often overlaps with problematic exercise and inadequate energy intake. Recreational athletes are not immune to these risks.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship with exercise
Some ways to understand if your relationship with movement may not healthy are the following signs and symptoms:
You are moving even if you’re injured, sick, or exhausted. You never take breaks, no matter how you feel or how inconvenient it is.
You arrange your life responsibilities are movement.
You cancel or avoid things to make time to move.
You judge your day as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ based on how much you exercise.
You base your self-worth on how much you move.
Movement is the one or primary way you cope with emotions.
You move to compensate for food.
You have an urge to exercise or move and if you do not do it, you feel guilty.
You increase the time you spend moving and/or the intensity of movement to feel satisfied.
You track steps, repetitions or time spent on movement and if these markers do not meet expectations, your mood is affected.
If you stop moving, you feel irritable, angry, unproductive or down.
Movement is no longer fun, it's obligatory.
You are experiencing the medical side effects of too much movement and inadequate intake, like frequent injury, bone loss, low sex drive, lack of menstruation, etc.
What is a healthy relationship with exercise?
Movement, whether that is physical activity or exercise, can be something you have a healthy relationship with.
Sustainable, nourishing movement is enjoyable, enhances the mind-body connection and rejuvenates you.
Movement that enhances our wellbeing:
Is energizing versus depleting
Alleviates stress versus amplifies it
Enhances our mood, along with other things we can do
Connects us to ourselves in that we can feel how it is to be in our body and grateful for what it can do
Connects us to others and/or to nature
Can be fun and playful
Allows for us to do the activities of daily life that we need at our level of ability
Is pleasurable at times
If you’re a professional or collegiate athlete, healthy sport looks like being able to challenge yourself and push your limits, while also respecting your boundaries. It’s about having fun in sport and not putting all your identity and self-worth into your sport.
How to build a healthy relationship with exercise
Regular movement does offer health benefits, and just as importantly, it can be a way to experience your body, feel grounded, and connect with yourself.
Movement doesn’t have to be about control or compensation — it can be about embodiment, pleasure, exploration, and presence.
Movement is not as a means to an end but a constant process of experiencing.
To start reflecting on your relationship with movement, consider:
What kinds of movement do you enjoy or find pleasurable?
How does your body feel when you move? What sensations help you feel more connected or grounded — the rhythm of your breath, the feeling of your feet on the ground, or the flow of movement through your limbs?
What environments feel good to you? In nature, at home, in a gym, on the water?
Do you want company or solitude? Do team activities appeal to you?
What kind of time and energy do you have?
What is your budget and what’s accessible to you?
If you are performing in a sport, do enjoy the sport and do you know your boundaries?
Would changing movement to align with current health concerns benefit you? I.e. if someone has POTS, it may be helpful to do recumbent movement
It can also help to notice what you’re already doing that counts as movement — playing with kids, gardening, walking the dog, cleaning, dancing in your kitchen. These activities are forms of movement, and tuning into how your body feels during them can help shift your perspective.
If you’re noticing that movement feels compulsive or non-negotiable, it might be time to gently ask: Am I willing to explore this with a professional?
Support might look like:
Scaling back — less time, lower intensity, or more variety in your activities.
Trying something new, fun, or expressive that isn't tied to changing your body.
Learning ways to cope with emotions that don’t rely on movement alone.
Getting medical oversight to monitor for any physical impacts of overexercise.
Working with a treatment team to meet your nutrition needs and reduce compulsive patterns.
Closing Thoughts
Movement can be many different things — a source of joy, a coping tool, a form of connection, or sometimes something that feels heavy and obligatory.
Like food and body image, our relationship with movement is rarely simple or black and white. If it’s felt complicated for you, you’re not alone.
Movement doesn’t have to be something that drains you or defines your worth. It can be something that connects you to your body instead of punishing it, something that helps you feel grounded instead of anxious.
Your relationship with movement is allowed to change. It’s allowed to soften. It’s allowed to be playful, gentle, and nourishing.
There’s room for you to redefine what movement means in your life — on your own terms, and in a way that feels good to you.
With hope,
Kate
Comments